Thursday, May 19, 2005
Dear FBC Brethren,
It is with much joy and affection that I write this letter to you all as I think of every one of you to whom this goes. Your love for the Lord Jesus Christ and to me and my family are a continuing source of encouragement and strength. I do thank God for all of you!
I’m writing to all of you to update you on Melery’s situation and to address some of the issues that arise because of it. As most of you know, Melery has been living with breast cancer now for the past five years. When the cancer was first discovered it had already metastasized (spread to other parts of the body) and she was diagnosed with stage IV cancer. Over the past five years the cancer has spread to the bones, spinal cord/fluid, ovaries, abdomen, and now the liver. Stage IV cancer is the worst that it gets and the survival rate for five years is 16-18%. It is only by God’s grace that Melery has made it these past five years and we thank Him for His mercy in blessing us with this time. Now, as we enter into another phase with the cancer and treatments we will continue to look and rest in Him who is our hope.
I realize that for many this has been a very difficult situation and our faith has been (and will continue to be) tested because of it. Some have been angry and have questioned God’s love as a result of Melery’s ordeal but brethren this should not be so. Through it all God has continued to show us His love, mercy, and goodness. He has proven His faithfulness to us over and over again. Every day that we have is a gift from God and none of us knows when He will call us home to be with Him. Therefore, everyday here on earth is an opportunity for us to walk by faith and with great hope despite the circumstances that surround us. Every day gives us the opportunity to look to Christ and to be continually conformed into His image and most often this happens through times of suffering. The following exhortation keeps me focused:
“You cannot, you must not have a more pleasant or more easy condition here than He (Jesus) had, who ‘through afflictions was made perfect’ (Heb 2:10). We may indeed think, ‘Cannot God bring us to heaven with ease and prosperity?’ Who doubts that He can? But His infinite wisdom thinks and decrees the contrary; and though we cannot see a reason for it, yet He has a most just reason…It is your part now to believe, and suffer, and hope, and wait on: for I protest in the presence of that all-discerning eye who knows what I write and what I think, that I would not lack the sweet experience of the consolations of God for all the bitterness of affliction; nay, whether God comes to His children with a rod or a crown, if He comes Himself with it, it is well. Welcome, welcome Jesus, what way so ever He comes, if we can get a sight of Him. And sure I am, it is better to be sick, providing Christ come to the bed-side, and draw aside the curtains, and say ‘Courage, I am your salvation,’ than to enjoy health, being lusty and strong, and never to be visited by God.” (Samuel Rutherford in a letter to Lady Kenmure, 26 June 1630)
I also realize that this has been quite frustrating for many of you because you have felt helpless through it all. It is that very feeling of helplessness that has driven me to the throne of grace. Knowing that there is nothing that I can physically do to rid Melery of this cancer is the very thing that has allowed me to rest completely in God. Five years ago, when we first received the news, I went out to be with God, calling out for His mercy, and His peace overpowered me. He assured me that His grace was sufficient for me and my family and that Melery was His and He would be glorified no matter what the outcome. Over the past five years I have come to believe and rest in Him more, knowing that His will IS good, acceptable, and perfect (Rom 12:2).
Some have accused me of not having faith and of giving up hope. While this may always be possible I do not believe it is true. Do I want God to heal Melery? Yes! Do I want Melery to be around for many years so that we can continue to grow closer together around the cross of Christ and see our family live for Him? Yes! Do I believe that God can heal Melery of this cancer? Yes He can! However, God is not obligated to do what I want – He does whatever He pleases (Psa. 115:3) and this is what is always for our good (Rom 8:28). Whether God grants my desires and petitions I will still worship, love, and serve Him for He alone is worthy. I must follow the example of my Lord in saying ‘Not my will but Thine be done.’ I want God to be glorified in my life, my family, and the church and that will only happen as we rest in what He gives. If He grants want I want, I may be pleased but He may not be glorified. He knows what is best and if times of suffering are from His most gentle hands then I will gladly bear it.
The apostle Paul asked God to remove the thorn (suffering) from him and God graciously answered his prayer (2 Cor. 12:7-10). ‘What?’ You say, ‘You’ve got it all wrong, Chuck. God did not remove the thorn!’ And that is true, brethren, but I did not say that God answered Paul’s petition, God answered his prayer. God, in His infinite love and wisdom, did not remove the thorn (Paul’s petition) but He did answer Paul’s prayer (entreating the Lord) by telling him that His grace was sufficient for him, for power is perfected in weakness. Do we want God’s power or our selfish desires and ease? His grace, His strength, is manifested in our weakness. Knowing this to be true may we always respond like the apostle saying ‘Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.’
So, what can you all do? Should you pray? Yes! God has shown forth His love and goodness through your prayers these past five years. Please do not stop! Should you pray for God to heal Melery? By all means, YES! But do so remembering what I have said and knowing that the God who can heal Melery is the same God who could have prevented Melery from having cancer in the first place. But in His infinite love and wisdom He has allowed her to have it and for us all to go through this. Not our will, but God’s be done.
What else can you do? While I know you are concerned for Melery and have questions regarding her health let’s be careful that we don’t make the cancer the focus of our lives. Let’s talk about Christ and what He is doing in our lives. Let’s make Him the focus not our infirmities for only by focusing on Him can we overcome them. Let’s encourage and build up one another in the faith by keeping one another’s eyes on Him and not on ourselves. Continue to send cards and notes of encouragement to Melery as these are always a source of delight to her. And while God has allowed this to happen at a time in which our children are capable of doing much work around the home an occasional meal (weekly) will never be turned away.
Finally, don’t give up hope, but do give in to the One who is our hope. Frustration, disappointment and despair will cause us to strive in the flesh if we do not deal with it rightly. Therefore, cease striving and know that He is God! He will be exalted (Psa. 46:10).
As we continue to grow closer together around the cross of Christ let us be known as a people who trust in His sovereignty, trust in His mercy, rest in His goodness, walk in His grace, hope in His glory, stand in His righteousness, delight in His presence, and continue to look to Him who is in heaven, seated at the right hand of God, knowing that earth is not our home. Therefore let’s not hold on to it tightly.
To God be the glory as we are more and more conformed into the image of His Son.
With much love and affection in Christ
Your brother, servant, pastor, and friend,
Chuck Long